300960 Hours
The Last Shall Be First and The First Last
“In the abyss of my soul, shadows dance where light never reaches, and the echoes of my silent screams remind me that hope is but a distant, fading memory.” – It’s like twisted thoughts inside my mind. I don’t feel anything the way others do. Emotions are just words to me. I see people as empty shells, just bodies without meaning. When I hurt them, it’s not about anger or pleasure. It’s just an experiment, a way to feel something real, even if it’s only for a moment. Their cries and fears are like a fleeting rush, but they fade fast, leaving me in an even darker void. I’m trapped in this numbness, prowling for the next flicker of sensation in the endless darkness of my soul. I watch the world with empty eyes, seeing people as nothing more than pieces on a board, there for me to move and manipulate. There is no warmth in their smiles, no meaning in their words. To me, they are like insects crawling unknowingly into my web. In my mind, I construct plans and scenarios, each one colder than the last. It’s a game, and I relish every calculated move. Emotions are foreign to me; they are mere concepts rather than feelings. The pain of others is a distant echo, never touching the quiet void inside me. Sometimes, I imagine what it must be like to feel guilt or empathy, but those thoughts are fleeting, brushed away by the thrill of control. I craft facades to hide behind and perfect masks to wear among the unsuspecting. I can mimic concern, laughter, and even love from a distance. Behind closed doors, I revel in the power of secrets and lies, understanding the weakness emotions bring to others. To me, vulnerability is a flaw I can exploit, a tool in my arsenal. In the silence of my thoughts, I feel untouchable, a puppeteer in a world of strings. Yet, now and then, a tiny unsteady glimmer of isolation creeps in, a souvenir of the void between me and the rest of humanity. But even that mumbling of loneliness isn’t enough to break the impenetrable shell I’ve built. So I remain, a solitary figure in a world I can observe but never join, forever detached, forever watching.
Confessions of a Troubled Mind IV –
– To Be Continued.
