Month 411
The Dispute Resolution of Thought
I woke up feeling unpretentious towards today’s day, but why is this pretending to be a thing – “Laughing Out Loud can’t stop this hideous laugh, and it drives me insane” – Sitting by myself in the corner of a room looking over the paradoxical question of the movement of the environment around us. It begs the question (George Orwell said in 1984, “Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.”). Wasn’t he ******* right? Question and more questions. I cannot think for myself, this headache pounding in my head like a hammer hammering a nail into the wooden wall without an ending to it. I stood up and turned myself towards the door. I didn’t want to open it, but I did – (I couldn’t be responsible for my state of mind because my surroundings were the very same ones which made me like this) – dark so much darkness through my thoughts can’t even gulp my saliva tasteless and dry hurts every time when goes through my throat pipes – I got this grim illustration from a miserable future where quoting G. Orwell from 1984 “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face-forever.” What a sublime disappointment – I open the door; no lights are on the other side, but I sense a filthy, strange smell coming from nowhere. I start wondering if this is what I may be from inside myself: “Thinking not even the most deprivation and scarceness would come close to me” – exquisite expression or not. Shrinking with the excruciating pain of shame of a “persona non grata” (my thoughtful self-portrait image) W. Shakespeare – Hamlet/Macbeth “To die: – to sleep; – No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, – ‘tis a consummation – Devoutly to be wish’d.”.
Confessions of a Troubled Mind II –
– To Be Continued.
