Murmuring of a Broken Silence
Love and Loss in the Void
Echoes of Silent Confessions
“Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing,” said Dostoyevsky. And I think how ugly it is for someone to see you stripped of options, decaying in their arms. You whispered, “Told you so.” I cared for you even when I couldn’t care for myself. A piece of me broke that day when I cringed as you walked by. I’m sorry. I can’t talk about it without crying. Where can I put all this anger? Maybe in another life?
One day, I’ll forget the sound of your voice. Not everything has a happy ending. Never, never, never. The world you were born into no longer exists. We’re just waiting, like in a waiting room. For what? There’s no certainty in the dead end of your absence, but it haunts me to the bones. A void is forming inside me.
This time, I should be true to myself. How much more do I need to suffer? I wish you could leave me alone. If anything or anyone understands loneliness, surely the moon would. I didn’t mean to be a burden, but this will pass because it’s for the better.
I was enough. I wish you could see it before winter creeps in. Nothing has changed! Why does my heart choose to believe a better life is possible? I was scared, and it’s not just imagination. We can hate ourselves so profoundly…
